+ WHAT YOU MEAN TO ME

[Oz Gavin Jenson]

look into your heart, you’ll find
there’s nothin’ there to hide…

[/b][/color]



OZ JENSON[/size][/b]
====================================[/center][/color]

Shifting from one foot to the other nervously, Oz glanced up and down the hallways. He was waiting for the opportunity to sneak into the basement. He and Alison had a hard time arranging for any personal time. It was difficult when no one was allowed to know about them. Oz finally had something good going on and he had given up so much for this, and yet it was proving more and more difficult with the passing of time. He wasn’t even sure anymore why they were hiding it, and he planned to discuss that with Alison today.

The last student turned the corner and Oz ducked into the stairwell and stepped lightly down into the basement. The lights were dimmer than he remembered from last time but he didn’t bother concerning himself about it. He moved across the basement to an empty stretch of wall, checking to see how dirty it was before leaning back against it. He closed his eyes a moment, trying to work out how to word his concerns to Alison before deciding to wing it. She’d understand no matter how he worded it. Alison was just as wordy, manipulative and intelligent as Oz. She was his one and only equal in those grounds. She was also attractive, witty, secretive and more aware of her own abilities than even Oz was. She was his perfect match and it had taken a lot of time for Oz to see that. She wouldn’t take this the wrong way he was sure.

Oz’s eyes opened again and they readjusted to the light. He eased himself down the wall so he was sitting. She wasn’t late; it was just that Oz was early. He’d been so completely looking forward to this, that it became hard for him to sit still, so he had just come here to find he still couldn’t really sit still. Oz and Alison still had a lot to learn about each other. Hell, Oz had a ton to learn about himself before this would work out perfectly between the two of them. He knew for that reason alone it was perhaps better than no one knew about the two of them.

Oz was struggling with his faith. His religious beliefs had told him several things. First of all, He was important and as long as he served them faithfully he would become a god. Second was that he would live eternally in this life so long as his body and possessions were preserved. Third, evil ones would have their souls weighed and if found wanting, the souls would be burned. If he was faithful he would be rewarded like no other. But of all of these, not one of them had proven true. He had not become a god, but instead a lowly, unimportant high school kid. He was not living eternally so much as being given a second chance, and even evil people got this gift. Look at Raven! He wasn’t faithful to the gods, nor was he a good person. But the most important of this was he spent all his 90 years faithful and loving the gods. And yet he had never received an award, so much as a punishment. Part of him argued that maybe Alison was the reward, but he was starting to accept that maybe his beliefs were without foundation and as a result, wrong. His gods didn’t speak to him like they did to Isa, he was running on blind faith.

Blind faith had failed him. And worse, Oz had acted so desperately when trying to make his beliefs fit this life. He had believed he must have a purpose to be thrown into this, and he had been wrong. He had thought it was his task to lead RSOR with the others. He had been wrong and denied that, even if he still believed he was more qualified. And worst of all of it was this empty feeling of worthlessness. Oz had been a great pharaoh; one of the greatest to ever live and now he was a stupid high school kid with no purpose, no life goal, no power…it was hard on him. It was making it hard to find himself in this life. His experiences were too far detached to help him in this life, and as a result he was essentially starting from scratch. Like his life had been erased and he had to start all over again. It was disheartening. Alison was his only light in all this, and he was doing all he could to make sure that light didn’t go out and leave him alone in the dark. He just hoped this didn’t cloud his judgement where Alison was concerned…

[/color]

====================================

[/color]

•• Tag • Alison Driscoll ••
•• Words • 789 ••
•• Outfit • CLICK ••
•• Lyrics • "Everything I Do" by Bryan Adams ••

[/color]

====================================

[/color]

[Alison Caroline Driscoll]

Part of Alison wanted to go to the Christmas Ball with Oz. She enjoyed school dances, and social events in general. The risks were far too serious to even try, however. Isabella had seen them chatting in the hall at the Halloween Dance. If she could spy on them, anyone could spy on them. And that was just merely talking in the hall. There was no way that they could actually attend the dance together.

And so Alison, despite wanting to attend, wouldn't be attending the Christmas Ball because she would be spending it with Oz instead. She knew how much Oz wanted it. She did too. Perhaps she'd even stop by the dance later on. Nevertheless, Oz was her boyfriend, and she wanted to spend most of the night with him. Aware that he didn't have too many other people to spend it with, especially since he was staying in Riverdale (much to her surprise), she didn't want him to spend it alone either. She and Nate were staying in Riverdale as well. This year, their father had opted to visit his family in Ohio. The kids were invited, but decided to stay in Riverdale instead. Yes, Alison and Nate both had past life roots in Ohio, but the fact that they wouldn't be anywhere near Dayton, added to the fact that the Winchesters invited them over for Christmas dinner, cinched the deal. They would be staying in Riverdale. It was still a bit too painful to go to family Christmas dinners when their mother would surely be brought up, and maybe if Alison and Nate weren't there, there would be fewer remarks of how Nate had Carrie's eyes, or Alison had inherited her curly hair.

Alison descended down the stairs to the basement, quick to make sure that no one was looking before she began her journey downward. She wondered if she would be waiting for Oz or if he would be waiting for her. It was hard to tell. Alison didn't particularly enjoy being late, but she was also one to whom the term 'fashionably late' could be applied in certain circumstances. Even though only Oz would be seeing her, she wanted to make sure she was dressed nicely (especially if she did make plans to attend the ball afterward). So, appropriately, she was wearing a red dress for the occasion, her hair up in a neat bun. She even wore matching red dress gloves to complete the ensemble.

When the freshman reached the bottom of the stairs, a bright smile came across her face at the sight of Oz. It didn't matter whether he was dressed up or not, just that he was there. She approached, her footsteps echoing lightly through the empty basement, and stopped a few inches in front of him before giving him a peck on the lips. "Is fashionably late a suitable enough excuse?"[/color] She commented with the corners of her mouth turned up just slightly.

Word count: 499
To: Oz/Jez-E
Notes: Most of her posts end up in the 480 to 490 range, oddly enough. o.0

[Oz Gavin Jenson]

look into your heart, you’ll find
there’s nothin’ there to hide…

[/b][/color]



OZ JENSON[/size][/b]
====================================[/center][/color]

Oz wasn’t generally huge on school events. There were many reasons for this. First and foremost, ever since finding out what he had done, Oz had even less friends then before. Sure they had all be fake friends in reality but he still had far less people to talk to. He had struggled with that from the beginning. Making friends was just not on Oz’s general agenda. Hell, he hadn’t even had real friends in his first life. Being all mighty and being able to order people to do what you wanted often hampered that ability to make friends. If you asked someone to do something in an attempt to make friends, they took it as an order. It wasn’t an ideal environment. As a result, Oz’s ability to make friends was simply damaged.

Another reason was that Oz had been to many the first time, and though a lot of his fellow RSOR members preferred this life, Oz missed his old life. He’d had it all in that life and in this life he was nothing. It was hard for him to get over things and accept the now, and as such those social events didn’t help his mentality. It’d be healthier if he went to them, but his mood wasn’t exactly ideal for events like that.

And the final reason…that one was more modern. Alison and him couldn’t go to the school dances and social events together. The round circle that brought him back to the question he needed to ask Alison today. He hadn’t really second guessed the reasons until Isa had found out about the two of them. Isa of all people, and her reaction was far different than Oz had ever expected it to be. The point came down to it though, if everyone’s opinions of him were not exactly as ripe or nasty as they were, why couldn’t they be public? No one had to know she was RSOR to be dating someone in RSOR. Hell, some anti-RSOR members were dating RSOR members. So it could still keep up her pretenses if they were careful.

Thankfully, because the Christmas ball was happening the two of them could spend some private time with each other. No way anyone would find themselves in the basement tonight, seeing as they were all out dancing their hearts away. Or lounging around in the Christmas Ball pretending to have fun. Oz knew what that was like.

Oz had stayed in Riverdale for the holidays even though it wasn’t something he’d usually do. His parents had a business deal they were pursuing in England and as a result, Oz would have sat alone at home for Christmas or sat alone here for Christmas. At least staying in Riverdale guaranteed he didn’t have to fly for 8 hours there and 8 hours back to see no one and still spend Christmas alone. He hadn’t expressed this part to anyone, just the fact that his parents were away on a business deal. He could have visited with his little sisters and Grandmother, but that wasn’t a great plan to him either, seeing as his Grandmother was a woman set on finding everything wrong with everyone and everything and bitching about it. Talk about a horrible way to spend the holidays and he did feel bad for his sisters for that. But he’d rather be alone than visit with that old bat.

Oz was caught by surprise with Alison’s appearance, but didn’t say anything. It took him only a moment to come to the assumption that she’d be attending the dance after this. He smiled back at her when she smiled, and he felt entirely better about his circumstances for the holidays. Alison had that effect on him and it both scared and pleased Oz. Naturally, when she kissed him he kissed her back and he couldn’t help the amusement that crossed his face when she claimed “fashionably late”.

”Perfectly suitable.”

[/b] He offered with a nod. ”And well worth the wait.”[/b] He added with a charming smile that was more natural than anyone else ever saw. Oz had become an expert of faked emotions in his first life and the skill had translated perfectly to his home life this time around. As a result most of Riverdale only saw the fake expressions Oz used instead of the genuine ones. Though, he was still struggling to be 100% genuine with Alison in his reactions and expressions. He just wasn’t used to it.

”Sorry about the dance…”[/b] Oz said, sounding a bit awkward. He knew she wanted to go, but also knew that for some reason he couldn’t go with her. The reactions had something to do with that obviously. Though, the more Oz became enthralled by Alison, the less he could make sense of those reasons. ”And I guess this isn’t exactly the most lovely spot for us to meet up.”[/b] He added with a shrug. That he felt bad about, but there were few chances of an offsite meeting that wouldn’t be noticed. Or at least wouldn’t have people aware they both left campus.

”Have you’re holidays been to your tastes so far?”[/b] He asked. They hadn’t been to his but he wasn’t about to tell her that. Oz’s holidays were never to his tastes. Christmas time just wasn’t his time of year.[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote][/color]

====================================

[/color]

•• Tag • Alison Driscoll ••
•• Words • 890 ••
•• Outfit • CLICK ••
•• Lyrics • "Everything I Do" by Bryan Adams ••

[/color]

====================================

[/color]

[Alison Caroline Driscoll]

It was really quite peculiar, when one looked at Oz and Alison's separate situations. If Oz had next to nothing...Alison had next to everything. Oz's credibility with RSOR was shattered, he had little to no friends or allies, and he'd gone from being a well-respected king of an ancient society to a junior in high school with no power over anyone.

Alison, on the other hand, was considered to be one of RSOR's greatest weapons (Lucien Sharp being the other). Her position was crucial to learning more about Anti-RSOR from within, and keeping RSOR informed about what exactly Anti-RSOR knew so that RSOR could keep the tight-knit group of normals from finding out more. She had Orville and Wilbur again. She had the Leader's Panel's respect. She was liked by both normals and most RSOR she'd come across, even Anti-RSOR. Unfortunately the last part was based entirely on lies to protect RSOR, but the facts were still stark and clear - Alison was doing far better than Oz was at this moment in time.

It was best not to think about that at this particular moment, though, and instead concentrate on the bright side - They would be spending most of this night together. Alison was happy to be in Oz's company, even if it was in secret. In fact, even though for the most part it bothered her that she had to keep this secret from everyone (except Isa, the only person other than the couple who were even aware of their relationship), there was a small part of her who gained a thrill from sneaking around and doing this behind everyone's backs. Even though she was a reincarnate, she was still physically a teenager, and thus did feel the urge to give in to teenage impulses at times. And what teenager didn't want to go against the status quo now and again?

Alison shot Oz a wry grin when he stated that the basement wasn't the best place for them to meet up. "I don't know, it has quite a romantic feel to it if you ask me."[/color] While she was for the most part being sarcastic, and expected Oz to catch this with ease, there was a hint of truth laced within the sarcasm. It wasn't a candlelight dinner, but they were completely alone with each other, free from the risk of anyone interrupting them and whatever may happen between them tonight. That in itself was pretty romantic, regardless of the surroundings. When Oz asked how her holidays were coming along so far, Alison shrugged. "They've been alright. Will and I have decided to stick around Riverdale. Our father's going to visit extended family in Ohio, and as much as Ohio remains near and dear to my heart...the references to how much I look like my mother..."[/color] She faltered, for the first time in this conversation. Such comments were near and dear to her heart as well, though in a different way. She'd cared for her mother in this life as much as she'd cared for her mother in her past life. Carrie Driscoll was more open-minded about her childrens' odd habits, the hints that they were reincarnates, than Jonathan Driscoll was. So while Alison loved her father...she'd always had a closer bond with her mother in this life, out of the two. Hearing reminders of that, or even hearing her extended relatives ask if he'd met someone else? She just didn't want to deal with that, not with everything else that was on her plate. She would spend her holidays with Orville and Harriet, and their new family. She hated to say it, but she figured she'd feel more at home with Bubs and Ullam there than she would with her blood family in this life. Though she wasn't so sure she wanted to get into that.

Word count: 658
To: Oz/Jez-E
Notes: This one came out considerably longer. XD

[Oz Gavin Jenson]

look into your heart, you’ll find
there’s nothin’ there to hide…

[/b][/color]



OZ JENSON[/size][/b]
====================================[/center][/color]

The difference in status and what was owned by Alison and Oz wasn’t lost on Oz. He was more than aware that Alison had a great deal more than he did in this life so far. She was valued, had friends and family as well. She was in one of the best positions she could be in, at least in Oz’s opinion, the secrecy toward her siblings aside. But secrecy amongst family was something Oz was well adjusted to. His past life, he was disconnected from his family, as was what happened when they were in a situation forcing them to do as he says and defer to him. So lying or keeping secrets was hardly difficult. Alison had a situation unique to Oz. He had loved his wife Nefertari, but the question always remained whether she felt the same or was merely another individual forced to accept her position, but Oz wasn’t sure, mostly because he had married her before becoming Pharaoh himself. He wanted to believe Nefertari had loved him, and he tried to keep to that belief instead of questioning it.

His feelings for Nefertari were great but he felt similar if not greater feelings for Alison. At first this had concerned Oz greatly, as this life was very different from his last. He couldn’t just order Alison to love him back or become his wife. It didn’t work that way. Social rules had changed. Instead he had to play the dating game that he dreaded, and in the end even that didn’t quite happen. Alison’s admission of her own feelings had been elating to Oz. Though he was still concerned at scale by the fact that she wanted to keep them a secret, and more importantly, he wasn’t sure how long they’d be kept a secret.

He tried to push his concerns aside when he saw Alison’s face and he couldn’t deny that the way she had dressed was beautiful as per usual. Though, she was more formal this time. Oz was always dressed somewhat formally so his clothes were generally appropriate, though when he did consciously dress up he looked pretty snazzy. He hadn’t bothered to adorn a suit top and all the extras this time though. He certainly wouldn’t be attending the dance after the fact.

Oz couldn’t help the adoring and loving smile that popped onto his face when she said it was somewhat romantic. He of course picked up her tone, being a man who could read people with ease. Oz couldn’t exactly refuted her response. ”If you believe so that is enough for me,”

[/b] He said, in completely honesty, choosing to respond to the underlying truth in the sarcasm. Oz felt his concerns bubble up again and for the moment pushed them back down. It was inevitable they were going to come up in conversation tonight, but for the moment he was content not to disrupt the both of them.

Oz nodded in understanding. He hadn’t been attached to his family in this life, but for Alison, family meant a lot more to her than it ever had to Oz. For him family was a group of people forced into his life by his desire that they be there, or a set of individuals who did their own thing and preferred it that way. Those were his two experiences after all. Though, he did care for his little sisters quite dearly. Where he got his understanding was the feeling he had when he lost Nefertari. He understood that the feeling never left.

”Well, I think you made an excellent choice. Try not to think about it then. You won’t be in Ohio this year and there is no need to feel unnecessary feelings right?”[/b] He inquired, trying to choose the best way to respond. He assumed this was best, as Oz wasn’t so great on the comforting end of things. There were some emotional and social circumstances he was still a little uncertain of, having avoided them in his previous life and having rarely come across them in his current one.

Oz considered where to lead the conversation next, considering how the topic he had attempted wasn’t a good one. Once again his inner concerns cropped up. He tried to force them down, but realized he should probably get them out in the air. ”I am wondering, what is it that is stopping us from being more open about our relationship. Why is it we still hide when Isa already knows and it hasn’t effected your standing? Other RSOR members and Anti-RSOR members are currently dating or with interest in each other. Is there someone else we are hiding from now?”[/b] Oz inquired.

”I don’t mind hiding things if we must of course, I understand you have much more to lose than I do. I am thinking perhaps my logic is a bit...unsettled and blind, when it comes to you.”[/b] The wording on that particular line could have been better, but what Oz was saying was that Alison had a way of making him see less than the whole picture. That would likely change with time, but for the moment, everything felt like it revolved around her and as a result, his logic was somewhat lopsided and he often overlooked certain things where she was involved.

His own desire to have a claim on her openly was obscuring the reasons for the moment. And it was a claim, as that was what he was used to. Oz’s thinking in regards to relationships didn’t fully operate in today’s time. He hadn’t really dated in today’s world. In his world, he staked a claim on a woman and she was recognized as his. Though he had adapted this to include dating which was temporary ownership/claim, he had a harder time remembering that in today’s world viewing a person as property wasn’t right. He knew enough of this to keep the thoughts and feelings to himself that were archaic in design. Ultimately though, it was trying to break 90 years of logic and experience, and that was easier said than done.

Oz had already made a huge step recently, so maybe that was his next one. Oz’s major step being starting to tear apart his religious beliefs to try to understand what was true and what couldn’t be true based on what this life told him of his own time period. That wasn’t going well and wasn’t good for his mentality. But it was what it was.[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote][/color]

====================================

[/color]

•• Tag • Alison Driscoll ••
•• Words • 1083 ••
•• Outfit • CLICK ••
•• Lyrics • "Everything I Do" by Bryan Adams ••
•• Notes • Ramble Ramble Ramble... ••

[/color]

====================================

[/color]

[Alison Caroline Driscoll]

It was, of course, easier said than done when it came to following Oz's advice. She still felt a tad guilty fo rnot seeing her father this Christmas. Her extended family did not matter as much, but Alison wondered if she was making the right decision where her father stood. It was strange to see the opposite impacts of the death of the matriarch of the Driscoll family, and that of the Wright family. Susan Wright's death served to bring the four remaining members at home closer together than ever. Carrie Driscoll's death drove the Driscoll family apart.

Perhaps that said something about the differences in a family unit in the late 19th century and early 21st. Alison didn't think so, however. She knew that the huge secret she and her brother were keeping played a large part in the turn of events. Jonathan Driscoll was not absolved from blame, of cours e- His driving himself into his wrok rather than facing the situation head on was a detriment as well. Thankfully, Alison and Nate had a closer relationship than ever (in this life), and hopefully that would reflect on things to come.

Oz's next question gave Alison pause. There it was again. Secrecy. The concept was controlling her entire second life, it seemed, and Oz was calling her out on it. How could she convey to him that it really wasn't Isa she was worried about? "There are others who may not accept the relationship. I am...concerned about those."[/color] To some extent, she was worried about how her fellow RSOR and Anti-RSOR members would respond, yes, but it was clear by the tone and vagueness of this sentence that Alison did not want to say the identitites of these others - And that whoever these "others" were, they were someone who meant a great deal to Alison.

The irony was not lost on her either. One of her primarily complaints about her role as a mole in Anti-RSOR was that she had to keep it a secret from her brothers. Yet here she was, activiely keeping another secret from them. This inner conflict was evident in her expression, and she made no effort to hide it. Alison could not help but smile a little when he mentioned that his view of the situation might be clouded by his feelings for her. She reached out and grabbed his hand, giving it a little squeeze. "I think we all feel that way sometimes."[/color] Alison's actions were not, in fact, motivated by logic, though whether or not Oz would realize this remained to be seen. Not that there weren't other reasons. Alison knew that she could probably pass off her relationship with Oz to Anti-RSOR with minimal problem - After all, Errol and Tamara were both involved with RSOR members, so obviously it was not forbidden to have a relationship 'with the enemy', so to speak. She was aware, though, that Anti-RSOR knowing about her relationship with Oz would put pressure on her, and that she'd have to make it look like she was questioning him and trying to get information from him. It was something she and Oz could do with ease, she was sure, but it was still an added complication to take into consideration. Regardless, her primarily motivation lie in something much deeper, and much more important. Her primarily motivation behind keeping their relationship a secret was out of worry, and out of doubt. She was afraid that Oz would not be accepted by her brothers, and that, in turn, they would not accept her. In the end, that was more important to her than her job as a mole any day of the week.


Word count: 629
To: Oz/Jez-E
Notes: This feels really short compared to yours...

[Oz Gavin Jenson]

look into your heart, you’ll find
there’s nothin’ there to hide…

[/b][/color]



OZ JENSON[/size][/b]
====================================[/center][/color]

Oz didn’t fully comprehend Alison’s situation. That much was very clear and while it was easy to say something, doing it was much harder. He tried to understand how Alison felt about her family, but he didn’t have anything to go on to understand the feeling except his twin sisters in this life. And even then, what he felt for them was more like protectiveness over them seeing as they were still quite young and a wish that they wouldn’t end up being neglected by their parents. His feelings were that of an older brother and much like in his past life, Oz’s feelings for them were more about basic instinct and survival versus actual love. He didn’t really see how Alison doing what she wanted to do was so against her family and how that became something of guilt and concern. In ways, the fact that he didn’t understand frustrated him as it meant that he couldn’t be much help to her.

He also didn’t have quite the same feelings about the loss of a parent. Both of his parents in the past had been important people, naturally. His father Seti had more important things to do than focus his attention on any of his sons, though he did keep an eye on them in terms of an heir. His mother Tuya had been a wondrous woman, used to wealth. Naturally her relationship with Ramses had changed when he became Pharaoh. She received increased status being the wife of a pharaoh and then the mother of one. Oz had left her to her own devices and had focused his attentions elsewhere. Neither parent’s death was a huge emotional hit to Oz.

That being said, his parents in this life were both alive and neither acknowledged him often as they were preoccupied with business. They viewed their children as something to show off and a bit of a burden that wouldn’t carry over to prevent them from doing what they pleased. As a result, Oz’s relationship with them was very similar to what it was with his previous parents. It was a relationship of necessity and far from being a close emotional bond. Alison’s family being so different from this meant that Oz was really at a loss for what to say or do about her situation. Hell, she hadn’t even revealed to her brothers that Oz was dating her, let alone her parents. Even if he wanted to do something to help her, he couldn’t without revealing their relationship.

Oz puzzled a moment over the issue of secrecy that surrounded Alison. He considered her words silently for a bit longer than was comfortable. The long pause was certainly notable as he went over it in his head. Who was it that she didn’t want to have know? Isa had been Oz’s biggest concern as the most forceful Leader’s Panel member and the one least likely to approve of their relationship. So it wasn’t RSOR that she was concerned with. Her parents were not around all the time and it was unlikely to get back to them unless Nate or Oliver told them, and even then Oliver was only over as if a friend of Nate and Alison’s, not as a brother. So that just left....Nate and Oliver themselves? But why would she be so concerned about that?

”I understand if you’d prefer to keep this to yourself, but are you concerned about your brother’s knowing?”

[/b] He asked upfront. He had learned that Alison appreciated forthrightness more than subtle pushing and even though his nature told him to be subtle and manipulate her to get his answers, he had suppressed it to ask the question outright. He knew based on her tone she didn’t want to mention who, but he asked anyways. He suspected, and by asking this way, he had given her a chance to refuse, but also suggested he suspected that she was concerned about both of her brothers.

Oz paused, realizing he had made her uncomfortable by asking the question he had. He considered a moment before deciding he was sorry about that at least so apologizing was a logical response, ”Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”[/b] Even though Oz didn’t apologize to anyone, he had found himself saying sorry several times to Alison in the past. He’d apologized for not going to the dance in this meeting alone already, so it slipped out, and it was genuine. Of course, Alison was probably unaware of Oz’s lack of apologetic feelings toward everyone else.

Oz took in her smile when he mentioned his clouded thoughts with regard to her and couldn’t help but smile back, especially when she reached for his hand. ”I can’t say that I naturally feel that way at any time. It’s a new feeling for me,”[/b] He explained. Even with Nefertari he was pretty sure he had been logical first and foremost. Sure he did a lot for her after her passing to honour her, but that wasn’t a clouding of his thoughts. He was always confident in what he was doing and how he was thinking. But his position had also been different then. Back then anything he said or did was right simply because he was Pharaoh, which was not the case now.[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote][/color]

====================================

[/color]

•• Tag • Alison Driscoll ••
•• Words • 880 ••
•• Outfit • CLICK ••
•• Lyrics • "Everything I Do" by Bryan Adams ••
•• Notes • Whole life story happening there... ••

[/color]

====================================

[/color]

[Alison Caroline Driscoll]

While it was hard for Oz to understand just how important family was to Alison, it was hard for Alison to comprehend the idea of a truly dysfunctional family. Every family had some degree of dysfunction, and Alison was no stranger to the experience, but in both lives she belonged to close knit family units. As hard as it was for Oz to comprehend just how close Alison was to her family, it was hard for Alison to understand that in both lives, Oz came from families that were family in name, but not much else.

It was plainly clear by Alison's expression what the answer to Oz's question was, though she proceeded to answer it verbally nonetheless. "I am concerned, yes."[/color] She admitted. She did appreciate that he wasn't beating around the bush, as that would likely only get on her nerves in this case. It was something that was bothering her considerably, after all.

"I haven't been upfront with them about much lately. In fact, I havent' been upfront with them at all. I used to hang around them all the time when I was first recruited, and I know both of them are wondering why I rarely turn up anymore. I realize it may be hard for you to understand, but we weren't just brothers and sister in our past life. We were like best friends. I've kept so much from them..."[/color] Alison looked perhaps the most conflicted she ever had. The only other time she may have looked as conflicted was watching Oz's embarrassing defeat at the hands of Isa - when she realized that something she had fantasized herself about doing to Oz for the longest time actually made her sick to watch.

In this case? No matter what action she took, it didn't feel like she was making the right decision. She hated keeping the big secrets she was forced to keep, and yet she didn't want to come forward about one of the biggest secrets that she had. There were only two people that she could ask for advice, and she knew for a fact that Oz would be a biased source to take advice from in this case. Of course he'd likely want to go public about their relationship. He didn't have anything to lose on his end. Even then, while her brothers were her main concern, she did have one other one. "I'm also worried about Anti-RSOR."[/color] No matter where she looked, the situation seemed to get more and more complicated. That being said, she still wanted to take advantage of this time alone with Oz. Still holding on to his hand, she proceeded to toss another question his way. "And what do you think about this new feeling?"[/color] Alison teased, with a small grin on her face. The hope was that he found it at least a tad enjoyable.


Word count: 499
To: Oz/Jez-E
Notes: It's alright. XD

[Oz Gavin Jenson]

look into your heart, you’ll find
there’s nothin’ there to hide…

[/b][/color]



OZ JENSON[/size][/b]
====================================[/center][/color]

It was strange how two sides of the same coin could come together. They were the same in the sense of their isolation and their ability to manipulate, read people and control their own circumstances within the uncontrollable circumstance. But yet, they both had very separate experiences. Oz experienced loneliness by being alone and Alison experienced it by being apart from the people she loved. Oz didn’t understand her ties to family, but maybe one day he would. For now, it was just enough that they were different and it made things a bit more difficult—as if they were not difficult enough...

Oz was glad he took the direct route. He wasn’t used to being direct to get answers he wanted but he was actively trying to for Alison’s sake. He would do anything to keep her here and prevent her from leaving him to be lonely again. It was almost alarming how much he felt he needed her now. He gave up everything for her, even if everything had been an illusion to begin with. It seemed to be working alright for now, and she was giving him direct answers for the time being. Oz was sceptical that this would last, but then again, he was sceptical of a lot of things.

Oz considered her response and found he was very confused by it. He was still unsure where that was a problem, but he knew he would work it out. He tried to imagine being in Alison’s shoes. He tried to imagine caring about the opinions of his family, which would be two people in the current circumstance. But try are hard as he could he couldn’t understand why she valued their opinions so highly.

”Is it a matter of judgement? A fear of disapproval? I am not clear on where the problem lies....Its...mm”

[/b] He was having a hard time with words. That wasn’t normal for Oz...but then again, nothing about this situation WAS normal for Oz. ”Why does their judgement matter?”[/b] He decided to ask, not sure that was the way to ask it either. ”I’ve no problem continuing to hide us if that is what you want. I am just trying to understand the logic behind it.”[/b] And wasn’t that the real problem? Caring for loved ones and their thoughts was emotional not logical after all.

Oz pondered over the situation for a few minutes and then considered another option. ”Why don’t you talk to them a bit more about the situation. I understand the possibility of the consequences is difficult. But explaining why may help the situation. I understand that the Leader’s Panel doesn’t prefer that, and you cannot spend time around them given Anti-RSOR and the game that is being played, but perhaps informing them of the game being played and explaining to them the reason why you can’t be around them as much as you’d like, at least for the moment. I am not suggesting explaining about us as that would be a bit much on their minds I imagine...”[/b] Oz trailed off with that. He had realized part of why she was concerned to tell them. Or at least a portion of a reason he could accept, even if he didn’t care much for their feelings personally...

”Just the little secrets that can be afforded, or even some bigger ones if you feel that they can play along and do their part without spilling to anyone else...”[/b] He suggested. Really, he was just trying to ease her conscience and really wanted her to feel better about things. It wasn’t often Oz cared about anyone but himself, so it was more big steps for him in the being-a-good-person category.

Oz pondered her response about Anti-RSOR being a concern. He had considered them, but they couldn’t exactly get at Alison in that sense without also attacking Tamara herself. And wasn’t it Rudy and that Blond Anti-RSOR girl he saw kiss at the Fair? How could they fuss over him and Alison if they were themselves getting ‘involved with the enemy’. He knew that people were petty and that was why it was a concern, but it was still aggravating. If he and Alison would always have to worry about what others think, would they ever be able to be honest with everyone?

Oz couldn’t help a grin forming when he saw her grin. ”I can’t say its overly-productive, but I’ll manage,”[/b] he answered. His expression alone said that it wasn’t really as big of a deal to him and that he must be enjoying it since he wasn’t complaining about it so much as mentioning it. If it meant Alison would stay around, wasn’t that what mattered? How he had become so reliant was beyond him, but that part was starting to concern him. He wasn’t about to mention as much.[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote][/color]

====================================

[/color]

•• Tag • Alison Driscoll ••
•• Words • 808 ••
•• Outfit • CLICK ••
•• Lyrics • "Everything I Do" by Bryan Adams ••
•• Notes • Whole life story happening there... ••

[/color]

====================================

[/color]

[Alison Caroline Driscoll]

Perhaps the most frustrating part of this was that Alison knew very well that Oz didn't understand what she was going through. She cared deeply for him, and she knew that he cared deeply for her, but that didn't change the fact that their circumstances were similar yet different.

As much as Alison hated to admit what she feared, she could not disguise the slight wince that came at the words 'a fear of disapproval'. There it was. She feared their disapproval. She feared that she would lose them through their disapproval. Alison bit down on her lip. She didn't know how to explain what she felt to him, because he was so far removed from most of the other people that surrounded him. Part of this was upbringing and his past experiences, she felt, but she also wondered if at least part of it wasn't a defense mechanism.

Alison let out a small sigh. "There's just so much I haven't told them. They know something is up, and yet they don't ask. They still wonder, though. I know them well enough to know."[/color] She felt her eyes starting to sting a little, but fought back the urge to cry. There was no way in hell she was about to do that. Oz was her biggest confidante, and her boyfriend, but it still didn't feel right crying to him. If she cried in front of everyone, it would be her brothers, but she was still trying to give off the idea that she was strong. She didn't much like the idea of being seen as a whiny little girl. Growing up in a family with older brothers in both lives, she'd learned to be 'one of the guys', so while she could do a lot of girly things, she was still hesitant to do others.

"I guess I shouldn't worry as much about Anti-RSOR."[/color] She stated as somewhat of an admittance. She'd mainly brought up the subject to get off of the subject of her brothers, though she was concerned about Anti-RSOR as well. "I don't know if they'd approve or not, to be honest. I mean, you are The Wizard that was giving them all sorts of things to talk about for several months straight. They still don't know how much of that is true and how much of it isn't."[/color] Really, as annoying as it was, all of Oz's crazy rumors about RSOR members had done RSOR a bit of a favor as well. It distracted Anti-RSOR from actively prodding at RSOR, and kept them chasing after mostly false rumors. The rumors themselves were still annoying, though.

Alison couldn't help but grin at his next statement. "It's not supposed to be a matter of being productive or not. Just relax a little. "[/color] With that she reached out her hands and began to massage his neck.

Word count: 499
To: Oz/Jez-E
Notes: It's alright. XD

[Oz Gavin Jenson]

look into your heart, you’ll find
there’s nothin’ there to hide…

[/b][/color]



OZ JENSON[/size][/b]
====================================[/center][/color]

Oz wanted so badly to understand what Alison was going through. He felt like he should, given his position and being a person she could talk to. He wished he could give her sound advice about something he knew nothing about. He didn’t understand and he didn’t have the knowledge to give her something concrete. He felt almost like he was failing her in a sense but he kept that to himself. The problem was it coupled with the fear he had that she would leave. He was afraid to give her any reason to walk away from him. He had nothing else, and now he found himself paranoid that she may walk away and he’d be left alone and with nothing again.

Oz was satisfied he had his answer when he noticed her wince. He didn’t comment. He didn’t say anything about it. But he knew right away. He felt a sense of shame that he had caused her to fear that disapproval. Was it really that people thought so little of him that she had to be afraid her brothers would disapprove? Of course... He was “The Wizard” and Oz Jenson after all. The video of him getting pounded had gotten a bucketful of viewers and it was clear RSOR despised him. Well...oddly enough, perhaps not Isa, but most of RSOR did. He wasn’t in great standing and more importantly he wasn’t a pharaoh like he once was. He was nothing but some high school kid. What did he have to offer to show his worth?

Oz kept those feelings from his face, as he so naturally was able to do after so many years of doing it. Just under a century of practice put into effect against the one person he knew he shouldn’t do that to. But he kept that to himself as he didn’t want to make this situation more uncomfortable for Alison.

It was true Alison had hit on something however. Oz’s isolated position was partially a placement of habit, but part of it was fear. He didn’t want people to see his low moments. He didn’t want people to see the bad things, the side of him that did what he had to because of a desperate need to gain this or that. He didn’t want to tarnish the reputation he had as Ramses the Great. But Also, he didn’t want anyone to realize that Oz had feelings too and those feelings could be hurt. He wanted to appear invulnerable and that was damn near impossible when a person knew and understood you. Like Alison, she knew him too well, and he had let her. That scared him almost as much as he was scared to be without her now. This was mostly new territory for him.

Oz listened silently as she explained the problem and say her eyes seem to change, reading the expression Oz couldn’t help but draw her in for a hug. ”You will get to tell them eventually...High School isn’t forever. And Four years isn’t so long.”

[/b] Oz said, trying to comfort her with what he knew. He didn’t know what he was doing and tried to let instinct guide him. For him of course, four years was the equivalent to pocket change in years lived.

Oz knew Alison was strong already. And for once he felt a need to think of someone else’s’ feelings instead of his own. It didn’t happen often and Alison was causing this to happen increasingly often. He wanted to protect her, and care for her and make sure no one hurt her. It was both comforting and mortifying. He knew himself capable but also was afraid that he would screw it all up. Oz desperately was wishing he had more experience in personal matters.

Oz let her go after a moment, knowing she wouldn’t appreciate him babying her for any reason. He listened as she responded about Anti-RSOR and nodded his understanding. Anti-RSOR was politics. Oz understood politics! ”Probe them. You are just as great manipulator as I am. Plant some ideas and gather some information on the side. If you want an answer that is. If you want to know if they will make this into a huge deal...”[/b] Oz offered. He was offering the solution he always used but it seemed the best method to discover if at least on that front things would be okay.

Oz smiled grimly as Alison went over how he had given them so much to talk about. ”I guess there was some positive to what I was doing. And here I thought my efforts were completely wasted.”[/b] He said, his response touching on the fact that he felt he had done the Wizard gig for nothing since he abandoned the benefits that could be gathered from it. He had abandoned the results for her, and he hoped so badly that he had made the right choice.

Oz shrugged when Alison mentioned it not being productive. ”A lack of productivity feels strange...I’ll admit that.”[/b] He said, some of the tension leaving his shoulders with the massage he was getting from Alison. He actually hadn’t realized how tense he was with the conversation taking the path it had. For now, Oz felt almost like he was walking on eggshells, paranoid he’d say the wrong thing and cause Alison to leave. He was so desperate to say the right thing that the tension in him kept building.[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote][/color]

====================================

[/color]

•• Tag • Alison Driscoll ••
•• Words • 909 ••
•• Outfit • CLICK ••
•• Lyrics • "Everything I Do" by Bryan Adams ••
•• Notes • Whole life story happening there... ••

[/color]

====================================

[/color]