Post by Jennah Raine Advani on Nov 20, 2011 16:38:13 GMT -7
november, 20, 2011
I haven't written in a journal for almost a year now. I threw out all my old ones that the school counselor made me write to "get over my pain". I couldn't bear to look in them anymore...I was crazy then. But...I suppose I'm still crazy. After all, I committed suicide in my first life, tried to starve myself and attacked Iskander last year, and now, I'm back to writing journals. It feels kind of weird to be spilling all my inner most thoughts and daily events to a page, but I guess there's some things you can't talk about with anyone else. Not even Iskander.
Well, let's see. What happened today...
Well, I was working out in the gym like I do everyday. I'd already run a few laps, done push ups, a fighting routine. I was feeling pretty good. But it was getting hot, so I took off my sweatshirt so I could exercise in my sports bra. Didn't seem like a big deal since I was the only one in there right? ...Wrong.
Apparently, Raven, Talia and Oliver were in there. Raven and Talia enjoy teasing Oliver about me (pretty sure he has a crush on me), but today they went too far. They tackled us both and made Oliver touch my newly-bare breasts (thanks to Talia pulling my shirt down). That was too far. That's not a joke anymore. That's sexual harassment. Well, I ended it by hitting Oliver so hard, he probably won't be able to urinate without pain for a week. Talia and Raven ran, but they haven't heard the last of me.
Oh God, it was so humiliating. No one's ever seen or touched me before with the exception of Iskander. But, I don't mind when Iskander touches me. He's gentle with me...usually. I can feel love when he touches me. Oliver wasn't so gentle...and his hands were cold. But I suppose that's not his fault.
Needless to say, when I was alone, I cried a bit.
Oh yeah. And about a year ago today, I found out I was pregnant with my late daughter, Jasmine.
It's been a good day.
